Thursday, August 21, 2008
c r a p s t u f f
bored... no hw. just that got to prepare for chinese oral thing. and tmr got eng test. but i dun really care about that. damn crap lah. the stupid proposal thing. i'm sick and tired of studying. no matter how hard i try, its still not good enough for you. i wonder why? i've done my best. and i'm not even interested in studying lah. just that its the only thing that i can be doing, cos i gave up on sports as my cca, a decision that i know i'll live to regret.how nice it would be, if you could play sports for your own country...later got badminton. i realised that i'm not that good in captain's ball anymore. can't even defend properly. maybe cos i havent practiced in a few years. if i could, i would play badminton and nvr give it up. but its all too late. i know.havent played badminton in 2 weeks le. first cos that time my mum sick, then whole family didnt go. then cos last week got the stupid psle oral, then they last minute go cancel. if they do that today, i'm gonna be so pissed. and disappointed. its like the only thing i have left. besides piano, which i am not very interested in. and i suddenly dun feel like learning guitar or drum too. dunno why.i miss the times when i was a child, having no worries...when everyday is just a day for me to play...not like now. the whole world is so freaking competitive lah. wads their problem. actually i dun really care about results anymore. but the more i dun seem to care, the better it gets. am i self consciously tring my best? i dunno. and if i dun, who else knows? cos i find myself mugging for every freaking stupid test there is...maybe thats wad god wants me to excel in...i dun really noe myself. we'll see. but thats definitely not what i want. and i know that.i feel sick. of everything. everyday seems the same to me. nothing special. what is my purpose exactly? i wouldnt mind the end of the world. though it seems that i will lose everything. every single thing i have. but gain something for eternity-heaven and the life awaiting me.
Posted by chris:) at 6:29:00 PM
