Tuesday, September 29, 2009

bleh. i think i'm going crazy.

yesterday the oven thing was ticking while cooking something and i heard drums. yeah. i told my sis off her mp3 and she told me it was the oven. after i strained to hear it for like 10 mins wondering wad that sound was. now i think i'm stupid. T_T

haven't really started revision and EOY's in like 9 days. T_T so dead man.

i've got sunburn. damn. super irritating. i think last time got a bit alr lor. the stupid sun so freaking hot lah. and its getting hotter. walked for almost 30 min in the SUPER SUPER HOT sun on sat. on the way to church after bala. seriously super hot. so now my cheeks quite red. worse than last time. which is last wk. and my skin super dry. and its peeling. eeeeewww. yuck. i hate it lah. putting super a lot of cream recently. like moisturizer or smth. loreal. lol. sucks. cos i dun think it helps. getting worse...maybe i shld start putting sunblock everytime i go out. zzz.

if someone told me last year that i would be in a triple science class without my sec 2 friends, i would have said IMPOSSIBLE. if someone said that i would be friends with the super smart 2A ppl like kunmei, lydia, ruth, etc..i would have said impossible too. but that is exactly wad i'm doing now. and it seems quite weird. cos i would have nvr expected that.

got 42/50 for chinese test. but i didn't feel happy at all. just relieved that my results weren't too diff from the rest of them. meaning i wasn't super low and they weren't super high. so i guess expectations of myself have changed. not sure if that's a good or bad thing though. the thing is being in this kind of class changes you. at first u might feel that u dun really care. cos even if everyone gets super high marks, as long as u meet ur expectations its okay actually.

but after a whil u start to get influenced by them, so u have higher expectations and you'll just end up feeling more stressed when everyone gets higher than u or you're one of the lowest. even though your results are considered good in other classes and even in your past expectations.

so i'm like stressing myself out. not a lot. but enough to make me feel like giving up on myself.

i should start mugging. now. but i'm not. and i won't. i know.

Posted by chris:) at 6:55:00 PM

Sunday, September 27, 2009

havent posted in more than 2 weeks. and i didn't realise it. time passes so fast man..so many things i wanna say. so little time. many things happened. some good, some not that good. the worst part is i can't type it out here. cos i've been trying to study. TRYING. and then i can't call people to talk to them too. cos...well. they're also trying to study.

i feel sick. since the moment i opened my eyes this morning. woken up by my mum shouting at me to get up cos we're late for church. and from that moment, everything just did not feel nice. even though had cos children's day celebration which was supposed to be fun. but i wasn't in the mood to have fun. eyes super tired. just now studying that time super stinging. and it was tearing. now feel super hot.

yeah. gtg go eat. at least oral and compo's over.

Posted by chris:) at 6:50:00 PM

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

090909 man. SO COOL LAH. once in a lifetime. hahaha.

alone. at home. cos my family went malaysia. zzz. and i didn't go cos of cca competition.

mon...i can't rmb wad i did lah. i think i went to schl. to train. yeah. then tues also. and we waited super long for mrs tan to go home to get the key. oh. and i saw that crazy pork fedora. crazy. oh. i was super happy cos the robot run quite fast. fastest time 15.0....then went bala. at 4.30. did paper for 45 min then go alr. cos i dunno how to do. then he say dunno nvm so i just go lor. hahaha. then went home. talked quite long on the phone. more than half and hour. i think so far that's the longest i talked to someone lah. cool. oh. and the sky was grey lah. so cool. and i sat there talking in the dark. quite fun. cos lazy on lights. hahaha. then after that i felt super stressed and sad. cos of cca stuff...and other stuff lah. then went to play piano.

oh. one thing i learnt: nvr ever play the piano when you're in a bad mood. cos you'll end up being more frustrated. esp when u are like me veery long nvr play alr so keep playing wrong notes.

and so i gave up and turned to drums instead. yah. dunno how long i play. i just sat there playing until perspire like siao lah. cos i lazy on the fan. super hot. then my dad and sis came back...then stop. go eat. slack. play psp until 12. slp.

today...sucks. maybe not really lah. geog and physics extra lesson. went cca room. packed. went tp. took cab. then...eat. walao. the canteen is super far lah. cos actually block 23 there also got canteen but nvr open. so we had to walk super far just to buy food. then walk back again. wth. the "good" news is...the programme can't work there. and the even better news is...the programme can't work on the other tracks. meaning most likely it can't work on the competition track too. super sian. tmr training 9-5. crazy lor. and we are short of laptops. great man. so dead.

pray that we'll get at least top 8. then at least still got merit award. but hard lah this year. stupid wrss. and peihwa also not bad...

maybe i shld go play drums again. help to relieve stress. but outside super hot now. i'm in air con room so its okay...i wanna watch tv...singapore idol..but i'm banned. wth.

Posted by chris:) at 7:16:00 PM

Sunday, September 6, 2009

today is a super sad day. feel sad.

yeah. some ppl really do stuff or say stuff without processing it in that big egoistic brain of theirs first. hurting other ppl. have u ever wondered whether stuff u do irritates ppl or hurts their feelings? ignorant fools.

u can be better than others academically, but suck at caring for others' feelings. cos ultimately, ppl look at the way u behave, talk, and treat others-your character, and see if you're even worth being their friend. not your results.

yesterday went to marcus's dad's wake. rest of ss class went too...but he was like trying to act normal in front of us...yeah. so we just played along lor.

today had church...joined jxs. left during ss class. go eat first then go the cremation thing. met up with ppl from ss class again. then after like the closing of the casket we sat bus to mandai there...had service. pastor preached. and the seats were super cold and i was freezing even though i had my thick jacket. or maybe not so thick lah. but still..u get my point. my hands were freezing. as usual. then placed flowers on the thing and went to the viewing hall. i almost cried. ALMOST. but didn't. cos whenever i see ppl cry or upset i'll feel like crying too. then after that went to waiting hall or smth. just hanged around. grp hug, naomi prayed for marcus and then went back.

i actually learnt stuff from the preachings kay. like...
if u don't make your own choice, time will wrench away your choice, leaving u with no choice to make. therefore, don't keep thinking that u will always have time to make a choice to believe god or not or do stuff that is pleasing to god. because actually, u don't. and..
when u believein jesus christ, u will be born again. right?
so either u are borned once and die twice...OR u are borned twice and u only die once. obviously the second one is better right...yeah. so once u believe in god, u will only die the physical death. but if u don't, u will die the physical death and the spiritual one (the one where u have to account for everything u did on earth)

slept on the way back on the bus...a while. and then the bus driver got lost. and didn't know how to go back. and we instead of going to bedok reservoir road, we went to tampines and then to nicoll highway and then to kpe to pie tuas to toa payoh and finally managed to reach our destination. thank god. lol.

oh yah. i probably won't have time to use the com or blog the whole of nxt wk. whole wk cca. wed still got physics and geog extra lesson. 2 lessons i hate the most..boring. can't even find time to go tuition. for test. sian. probably miss part of training in the morning lor. then chiong to schl.

the very good news is....that one robot each in the 2 grps got prob. meaning...that each grp only got 1 robot working healthily. but thankfully both can complete...so. have to find a way to fix both robots fast. or else....super screwed.yeah.

things happen for a reason. yeah. we're supposed to think that way whenever smth happens. like: oh. god made this happen for a reason, so i shld just accept it. but sometimes its damn hard to accept stuff. esp stuff that aren't meant to happen. i can't help but think that a happy family was broken up like that. one person gone. forever. and i dun see why these ppl deserve to go through this. they deserve better than that.

sounds chim when i read it. but nvm...hectic wk ahead. hope i can survive.

hope we can win this for our own sake. for the sake of our reputation.

Posted by chris:) at 6:37:00 PM

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

i said smth i shld not have said today.

dunno why. it just came out. i have to stop saying stuff like that. cos i hate it myself. so i'll probably end up hating myself.

ah crap. i'm sry. forgive me god. crap lah.

i have decided. that from today onwards. i shall read the bible everyday. or at least try to. even though i still dun see the point. cos i read it like a storybook.

bedtime story.

i think i just pulled out many strands of hair figuring how to do trigo. amath sucks man. even since mr khoo left. its okay. i shall survive. i will survive. with bala's help. hahaha

Posted by chris:) at 9:18:00 PM

TIRED. pe. cca. slept in the car when my dad came though. super shiok. felt like slping when i was eating too..

pe played badminton. he shen was nice to let us play in tower hall. so we played doubles.

blahblahblah. stupid health talk.

getting NEW LITIUM BATT TMR!!! yay. every team have:D BUT. have to charge 8 hours the first time. only 1 charger. so total of 32 hours? yeah. O.o

yesterday was the most fun day i had in ages. went out from morning to night. came home at 11 like that. thats why today super tired. my voice sounded weird too. and i felt super cold. nvm..

went church then bukit panjang plaza for lunch. wanted to go zoo but raining damn heavily. went IMM daiso to shop. i bought nothing. except for a bear figurine. hahaha. cute. with a surfboard. so a bear on a surfboard. went back church. went uncle raymond's hse. watched tv. used com. ordered kfc and pizza delivery to church. went back church. waited. ate. mango cake. NICE. presents. for my mum. surprise. hahaha. worship, games....lazy type details..

but yeah. i feel tired. but i dun wanna slp yet. hahaha. feel like talking to ppl.

cca whole of nxt wk. no time...not enough time. but its okay. i shall try my best to not be stressed. hahaha.

for the last time. I AM NOT A PORK. thats all:)

Posted by chris:) at 8:56:00 PM