Tuesday, March 30, 2010

sucks. everything.

not that i can't wake up or anything in the morning. i just can't find the strength to get out of bed and wash up and change and go to school. so tiring.

and then i keep finding faults with others when i'm not exactly perfect myself. i can't help it. i'm trying to be real nice.

but i really dun like ppl who are like so obsessed about relationships and stuff. i mean, come on man, how old are they only. so young date what shit lah. like what's the whole point if they know they're gonna break up sooner or later. its not like that will be their lifetime partner right? isn't it rather dumb? when they know that they're not actually truly serious about the other person but they think that they are?

my sis lah. and that stupid guy from church whom i dun even like. he's so short and weirdly proportioned and weird and disgusting. like wth. wads with her taste. anw she's only sec 1 and she wants to do this kind of crap when she can't even get her studies right. my parents should just confiscate everything lah. mp3, laptop, phone. she's super immature and spoilt and inconsiderate lah. doesn't even spare a thought for my parents. and then she still can say wads wrong with loving someone, its not like i can control it. like wth. ITS NOT EVEN LOVE FOR GOODNESS SAKE, ITS JUST AN INFATUATION. argh. sometimes i really wonder how can ppl be so dumb. seriously, young ppl these days....haiz

you know it makes me feel as though i wanna be super nice to them to make up for the way she treats them. but like i keep thinking that they only care about her and dun relly care about me so wads the point of trying to be fillial when my efforts won't be appreciated? it just sucks.

i saw my childhood freind's mum and his sis on fri after dinner. and then i just felt so depressed all over again. missing those days when his parents were still together, when we were in the same church, when we were good friends. super good. probably the best friend i ever had so far. but its over. i miss those times.

you never know how much you miss someone and how important they are to you until they're gone. its true.

and now all i can do is regret. those decisions. that separated me from them.

i just realised. i really shouldn't have come to a triple sci class. i shouldnt be in 4C at all. it sucks. those "friends"...they aren't even your true friends. cos you dun treat your friends like that. they have no idea wad it means to have friends. real friends. friends who'll stand by you, who'll place you before themselves, who really listen to you when you're troubled. or maybe i'm just not good enough for them.

Posted by chris:) at 6:56:00 PM

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

comp finally over. tiring 4 days. everyday wake up like 6.30 reach junior's hse like 12. haiz. by the time wash up go slp like 1. only slp like 5 hours. come back mon and today i slept for like 10 hours lah. really super tired. mon 12 hours:D hahaha. and i was half asleep during dinner on sun. lol. seriously. i was sleeping there while eating my ramen. well, at least it was worth it lah. didn't go back empty handed. merit award for R1. but we could have done better. maybe 3rd? with some luck. if the sun didn't choose to shine on that particular spot during our run. haiz. lesser random errors. and if both robots could have completed the track in the same run. damn joke lah. jack's team completed all 5 runs during the first try then ours completed all 5 during the 2nd. suay. or else timing confirm below 1 min. shld be can get third de. then become 6th. merit. haiz. nvr mind. i shall be contented. did better than last year. we shall beat wrss someday.

rmb feeling very frustrated on sat night while we were training cos lithium batt spoilt. the stupid wire came out. meaning we couldn't charge it again. damn sad. so had to use green batt which wasn't even ours. thing is, while i was there feeling damn sad cos i felt like our team was screwed cos we had no batt, i needed someone to talk to and i was just thinking. you know wad, there's no one to turn to. all those supposed friends, they didn't even bother sending a sms or wadever to encourage you or anything. thanks sheen though. she's like the only one who encouraged me while i was feeling so depressed and demoralised. thanks man.

i dunno wad to say. its not like they dunno or wadever. how hard is it to just sms? do they even care? idun think they even rmb that i have a comp. wadever man. seems like i'm not worthy remembering. some kind of friend.

thank god though. i rmb before the R1 qualifying round i was damn nervous. in the toilet i was like praying just let us at least get into finals. we're alr out of F1. we have to win smth. get into finals at least. during comp also. my junior said my hand was shaking as i was programming and i didn't even know. lol. but there also damn cold. when comp then suddenly feel damn cold. merit's good enough.

Posted by chris:) at 2:45:00 PM

Friday, March 12, 2010

i'm tired. but i can't slp...haiz.

scared for tmr. safe program completed once but like quite slow leh. haiz. then the 30% programme that i did totally nvr try at all. anw that one the timing also like 34 plus kind. nvr complete before also. haiz. almost though. the second last curve out:(

try bah...

Posted by chris:) at 12:39:00 AM

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

GO AWAY DUMB PPL:D

Posted by chris:) at 1:54:00 PM

Thursday, March 4, 2010

the heat is killing me. literally. its so freaking hot these days. even the wind is warm wind....do you know there was only like 6.3mm of rain last month. thats the lowest ever. really. lowest since they started recording the amount of rainfall. thought it was gonna rain today. but still not raining. haiz. even the grass is like brown alr lah. we're all gonna die. from the heat. or from thw waves that melt from glaciers and will sooner or later submerge the whole of sg.

sat was fun though. cny alumni lunch. helped out there for about 5 hours. cos stayed to pack up. and i missed tuition cos by the time we packed up was like 3 alr. no point going. met my sis and church ppl at tm to watch percy jackson. not bad lah. hahaha. ended about 6.30. then chionged to church for megapraise which starts at 7. loved it. its like really intense worship. for like almost 2 hours. pity the keyboardist though. played continuously throughtout the whole thing. almost 3 hours. damn pro. makes you feel like singing and singing. and even after singing for like super long you dun even feel tired. in fact you feel more refreshed.

now i know wad its like. all those sermons about worship. ppl telling you how wonderful it is to worship and everything. i couldn't really imagine it. like you dun really get wad they're talking about. and you'll just ask yourself is that wad i experienced? maybe? but no. it isn't. cos when you truly experience god you'll know it. you'll know that you did. and i know that i did. very first. on 270210. you'll feel that joy inside. not the kind of happiness when you're with your friends or when you're happy cos its your birthday. its really indescribable joy. so much that it fills your whole heart and there's nothing left for anything else.

kind of sad that that feeling faded alr. but i sure hope i'll get to experience it again. that kind of joy. and refreshingness. if there's such a word. ahahha

no cca and i'm looking forward to it:D

Posted by chris:) at 6:46:00 PM